Steven Watson of Stepwell Consultancy Ltd managed to squeeze a huge amount of fascinating information into his talk on stress issues. He was full of wisdom with lots of practical suggestions as to how to begin to tackle this universally experienced and sometimes crushing phenomenon.

He began by pointing out that stress has replaced backache as the number 1 reason for absence from work. This does not trivialise the problem but highlights how difficult and important it is to manage stress well.

He led the group in trying to define stress but we all had different answers, depending on our experiences and the situations that generate stress in each of us. Steven pointed out that stress itself, although it is perceived as negative, can be a vital motivator when it is within comfortable, managed limits. The real problems come with chronic stress – living for years with a constantly clenched fist, as our flight/fight response is continuously triggered.

He asked us to look at the factors that cause stress, helpfully categorising them as external factors (environmental, social, economic), pressures that come from around us, e.g. pressures from global competition, business slowdown, from family relationships or colleagues, or from the place we live or work. There are also internal factors (psychological, emotional, behavioural) that come from our make-up and grow from within us. These can be hidden but are no less real to the individual’s experience of stress.

Steven suggested that it is important to be aware of our personal thinking errors so that we can gain some sort of control over them. Our perception of difficult or unpleasant events can heighten our experience of stress when our thinking is negative. He gave some examples of ones that often are not only a response to stress but are contributing factors:

1. All or nothing thinking – “If I don’t get it right I’m a total failure”
2. Jumping to conclusions – with no real evidence “the boss has got it in for me!”
3. Mind reading – assuming what other people think without checking
4. ‘Should’ statements – “I should have … “ leads to unrealistic expectations and guilt
5. Labelling – “I am a complete failure”
6. Magnification – “It’s the worst thing that could happen to me”
7. Fortune telling – “She ignored me, we’re not friends anymore”
8. Generalisation – “No point in applying, I’ve already been turned down by five employers”

If we are experiencing chronic stress – it is important to take action now. He gave us eight points to help stimulate a re-balancing in life and work:

1. Recognise how the world of work has changed. We cannot just do what we used to do.
2. Evaluate our relationship to work. Fatigue, family, friends, expectations, what can be changed?
3. Assess our personal drivers. Our personal identity, value system, parental influences, our success criteria all need to be looked at on a regular basis.
4. Be aware of the impact of other people’s expectations. Peer pressure, herd mentality, hidden agenda and unrealistic goals are often other people’s heavy loads, which we do not have to carry.
5. Discover your boat. Create real space, learn to say no, fight the guilt, practice rest and learn to say, “No” Even Jesus made time to sleep in a boat!
6. Invest in your private world. Slowing, solitude, spirituality, soundproofing the heart all take time, effort and determination but they pay off hugely.
7. Look after yourself properly. Just because we all know this but rarely do it – doesn’t mean to say that it does not make a difference. Recreation, sleep/eat well, protect your days off, train ourselves to relax, write it out, trust a friend with your stuff, seek professional help.
8. Remain positive. Stop negative thought patterns – get off the tram lines, put things in perspective, re-frame your thinking, it’s OK to learn from mistakes, break up the monotony, laugh more, be thankful!

By now we were almost out of time but Steven had struck a rich vein of wisdom for us. He didn’t have had time to point us to ten growth areas, but hopefully he’ll come back and tell us about them another time. He finished with emphasising the importance of identifying key actions and doing them now so that stress does not become an issue.