Culture shock is aptly named as a cultural move does cause change to well being. Initially there are high expectations: climate improvement is a bonus until reality hits and it can become a big challenge to do even small things like bake your favourite cake when you  can’t find the  familiar ingredients in the local shop. A person can fall to pit of despair and suddenly quit and head for home. Or at this point of realisation can accept and change behaviour to adapt to new situation & life. The cycle of moving goes through 5 stages: Honeymoon, Disorientation, Shock, Adaption & Adjustment.

Ruth explored what gives us a sense of security? Familiarity: family, language, food, employment, home, language……Until we lose any one of these items we may not realise how important they are to us.
When moving into a new culture ALL  are affected. What helped Ruth feel secure during her 22 moves was a sense of identity: If our sense of identity is not met we feel insecure, not valued. Until grounded in own sense of identity it will always be difficult to navigate change & challenge. A sense of purpose is key to well-being and can often be wrapped up in our work. What can you do if can’t change circumstances. You can change yourself. E.g. purpose – I am going to be a kind person. Adopt a sense of realism: Why me? Well why not? What make’s us immune?

Ruth concluded that if she had been made aware of the impact of moving and cultural change it would have made such a difference. In life we will experience both bad times and good times but with realism & acceptance we will get through change no matter what the circumstances.

Gayle Cattenach

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.

We are delighted to have Dr Chris Williams back as our guest speaker. Dr Williams is a Professor of Psychiatry and Honorary Consultant Psychiatrist at the University of Glasgow. He will be looking at resilience from a professional point of view and how we can rebuild resilience when we are struggling. Resilience is not an innate ability, but a process that can be learned or an approach that can be developed.

Dr Chris Williams main clinical and research interest is in the area of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and in particular in looking at ways of disseminating this approach more widely. He has developed written and computer-based self-help treatments for anxiety, depression and stress to name but a few, under the very successful and popular Living Life to the Full series and is a well-known CBT trainer and teacher. Full details can be found at http://www.llttf.com/ and is a resource that can be offered both on-line and facilitated by BiG in the workplace.

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.

Resilience is not an innate ability but a process that can be learned or an approach that can be developed. Fiona will be drawing from her own professional practice to offer some practical guidelines on how to build resilience in ourselves and in the people around us.

Presentation

BiG Event Report (Jack Quinn)
Fiona approached the topic by taking us back to our earliest days when we considered what was for many people the fragile lives that they experience often growing out of family situations or experiences in their childhood. She illustrated that even in the most fragile of families and situations; there is still the potential to bounce back which is a definition of resilience. Through her illustrated power point presentation she took us through the process and asked some of the more penetrating questions about what resilience is. For example what are the protective and risk factors and why are they important in understanding human development. Why are some people more successful than others at resisting and overcoming stressful episodes and how can we promote resilience among our friends and colleagues. She highlighted the fact that there are some people who do not succumb to adversity, for others they develop coping strategies that see them through the painful experience or episode. Also there are those who suffer severe trauma but they recover and prosper.

Interspersed through Fiona’s presentation were opportunities for each of us in our groups to discuss, from a more personal point of view, our response to the issues she raised. For example in the context of ‘The model of Developing Reliance’ by Grotberg, 1997, there are three givens:
1. ‘I have’ (external support and resources which promote resources)
2. ‘I can’ (social and emotional competences)
3. ‘I am’ (internal and personal attributes)

We then spent some time in groups focusing on these three aspects of models of resilience.

I have – is that which gives us a secure base, good friendships and good relationships with others
I can – is the skills and benefits of education or talents or interests that enable us
I am – having a positive value, having social competencies that enable us to cope within a social environment

I think for this writer the most significant things about Fiona’s talk to me were that we should not underestimate the fact that fragile people can be very resilient. Secondly we need to be aware of and take into account not just the situation that someone is going through currently which challenges their ability to be resilient but also see where they have come from in their background which may give insight into their ability to cope or not to cope.

Her talk also exposed the complex nature of how we respond to stressful situations and therefore the topic she brought to us deserves far greater consideration than we were able to give it in the short time we had at lunch time.

Thus confirms the view of the BiG Steering group that this topic needed several months of consideration and reflection to bear its true fruit. We are grateful to Fiona for pushing the boundaries a bit further and providing us with more material to give consideration to.

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.

Peter Gardner has worked at Renfield St.Stephen’s Church since 2002 and is a founding Trustee of Business in Glasgow. He divides his time between the work of a parish minister, encouraging better integration between work and spirituality and developing the creative arts in the cultural contexts of Church and the city centre of Glasgow.

BiG Event Report by Jack Quinn

Peter opened the session by commenting that ‘resilience’ is a trendy word at the moment, for example in the centre pages of the Guardian 5^th September 2011 it talked about UK banks and their ‘resilience’ and America the ‘resilient’ country after 9/11. Resilience is a key word, it is a famous word, and if you work for the Scottish Government you might have a chance to work in the Scottish Government ‘Resilience’ Committee. So resilience is quite a buzz word.

So what is resilience?

Peter read a poem quote from ‘Luck in Sarajevo’ written by Izet Sarajlic in 1992 just after Sarajevo had been besieged by the Serbian army

In Sarajevo in the spring of 1992 everything is possible

Go and stand in the bread line and end up in an emergency room with your leg amputated, afterwards you still maintain that you were very lucky. – That is resilience

Peter believes that Resilience is not a character trait; it is a process that we can develop and learn

He went on to give some ideas of how you can think through the process using the idea of story telling or developing narratives:

He suggested that if you want to be able to develop resilience a lot of it is about the context in which you develop the story or the understanding of your life, or the understanding of what has happened to you. He gave the example of Boris Cyrulnik is a French Psychologist who says that almost any experience can be reshaped if those who endure it are given the power to write their own narrative. Boris himself was a Jewish child during the Second World War and remembers vividly an experience when six gendarmeries coming into his bedroom to arrest him. After the war he tried to make sense of what had happened to him and he tried to tell his story but nobody wanted to hear.

Peter went on to say that sometimes we are not allowed to tell the stories of what we go through. Sometimes the companies for which we work or the organisations in which we are involved in have a bigger story that they don’t want our traumatic story to be part of. If you have any influence in a company, one of the best things you can do to make your staff more resilient is give them space to tell their stories even if it does not fit in to the story you want your company to be telling.

Peter spoke of his experience talking at AA meetings being among people who are incredibly honest and open about their stories to an audience that are willing and receptive to hear. If we give people the space to tell their stories in that kind of atmosphere then resilience starts to be developed.

Boris Cyrulnik said ‘Resilience is the mesh that we create out of emotional and social things around us that enable us to look back and say ‘that was a hard journey, but we got through it even though times were tough.’

Sometimes resilience is speaking against the bigger story that is round about you, try and tell a story that no one else is telling and you will find it very hard to be heard.

Current thinking tells us that happiness is when you are wealthy, when you are successful, when you are fulfilled and when you have lots of positive experiences. When you don’t have any of these things, if you have to sacrifice something, you are thought of as being a victim, you have struggled, and you have suffered. Compare that with Britain in the 1940’s and 50’s when sacrifice was seen as a positive thing, so if you were giving something up because things were hard then you were seen as someone who was a bit of a hero. It was so much easier to tell the stories that people had experienced when the whole narrative behind was positive. Whereas today if someone goes through a difficult time it is easy for others not to listen.

The Apostle Paul famously said ‘we are broken but not crushed, we are in doubt but not despair, we are wounded but not dead, we are surrounded by enemies but not friendless.’ His life was a roller coaster, one minute he was popular the next minute he was being let down walls in baskets in order to escape, one minute he was being listened to and the next minute he was imprisoned. He understood the story of his life against another story, a bigger narrative, his bigger narrative was the story of Jesus, His sacrifice and yet resurrection so he could see that whatever he went through was against another story.

What is the background story that we tell or impose upon other people who talk to us? When you are telling a story what actually matters is less about the plot and the narrative but the context in which you tell it. If you tell the story in an affirming context then resilience starts to grow.

What kind of story do you tell about something that has happened? Stories of the past so often determine the way we understand the present and they shape the trajectory of our future. You start to see a pattern but sometimes that can be the dominating story of people’s lives and if the story starts to dominate then we start to fit our story into that plot. You have to start to tell your story before you can work out which is your plot. Some of the most resilient people are people who have identified the pattern of their story.

The narrative context gives isolated individuals the ability to determine how they will survive. How can we help people determine their own stories? Peter gave some helpful tricks to helping yourself or other people tell your stories:

1. Write it down
2. Using a long sheet of paper write your timeline – what happened in between the big significant moments actually tell you more about how resilient you are through all the things you have experienced
3. If you find it hard to tell your story or are with someone who can’t start then give them a way in, for example ask them to tell it from the mobile phones perspective or what they were wearing at different points in their story.

Isaac Denson the Danish writer said this ‘All sorrows can be borne if you can put them into a story.

Resilience – against the background story it is important to free yourself and understand that your story may be different from the background story round about you. If you have influence in your organisation in helping people to cope with what is happening make sure there is space for them to tell their own stories. Use creative ways of telling stories to free people up.

‘Luck in Sarajevo’ is a very short story but very powerful, would your story summed up in 20 words have the same influence on you? Remember you may not feel resilient but resilience is not a character trait but a process you can develop and a key element of that is telling your own story.

BiG are hosting a series of networking Breakfasts of Encouragement throughout the summer on the first Tuesdays of June, July & August.

“Hope” is needed as we rally ourselves and our teams through these very challenging times and what a great way to start the day with some inspiration and motivation by networking with fellow workers and a short message from the BiG team.

Jack & Gayle will be unpacking the theme “Motivation & Inspiration” throughout the 3 breakfast series. We aim to make the breakfast events fun and refreshing and you will also have a chance to network over a tasty breakfast in the Renfield Café.

A recent quote I heard was “Motivation is like vitamin C- it has to be renewed on a regular basis”. So come along and kick start your day the right way!

We look forward to hearing from you and do hope you can join us on for one or all of the breakfast series. Please note booking is essential for catering purposes.

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.

BiG are hosting a series of networking Breakfasts of Encouragement throughout the summer on the first Tuesdays of June, July & August.

“Hope” is needed as we rally ourselves and our teams through these very challenging times and what a great way to start the day with some inspiration and motivation by networking with fellow workers and a short message from the BiG team.

Jack & Gayle will be unpacking the theme “Motivation & Inspiration” throughout the 3 breakfast series. We aim to make the breakfast events fun and refreshing and you will also have a chance to network over a tasty breakfast in the Renfield Café.

A recent quote I heard was “Motivation is like vitamin C- it has to be renewed on a regular basis”. So come along and kick start your day the right way!

We look forward to hearing from you and do hope you can join us on for one or all of the breakfast series. Please note booking is essential for catering purposes.

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.

BiG are hosting a series of networking Breakfasts of Encouragement throughout the summer on the first Tuesdays of June, July & August.

“Hope” is needed as we rally ourselves and our teams through these very challenging times and what a great way to start the day with some inspiration and motivation by networking with fellow workers and a short message from the BiG team.

Jack & Gayle will be unpacking the theme “Motivation & Inspiration” throughout the 3 breakfast series. We aim to make the breakfast events fun and refreshing and you will also have a chance to network over a tasty breakfast in the Renfield Café.

A recent quote I heard was “Motivation is like vitamin C- it has to be renewed on a regular basis”. So come along and kick start your day the right way!

We look forward to hearing from you and do hope you can join us on for one or all of the breakfast series. Please note booking is essential for catering purposes.

To register, email gayle@businessinglasgow.net, or
 text or call me on 07740 467235.